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Discussion Starter · #2,241 ·
The truck side windows were dark tint, nobody could see in, but if they could have, gawd, there was this old man in there trying to get comfortable on top of and between a mountain of junk, wasn't no Sealy Posturepedic, but I'd slept in way worse conditions, only 40F and falling.

Figured I slept for three or four hours in the parking lot, fitfully, between truck engine noise, doors slamming, and one scream that woke me with a start, hair on end, fumbling for a defensive weapon, and all I could come up with quickly in the dumpster-like crew cab interior was a pocket knife, 2 inch blade...hell's bells, I wanted a damn sawed off shotgun, like right the flip now. Nobody makes a sound like that unless somebody is chasing them with an axe, maybe an ice pick, kinda brings the world to a stop, take a breath, sonny.

Whoever had screamed timed out, might be dead, and I climbed out of my cave, no cops, commotion, or crime scene van. Didn't see any big pools of blood either, but I didn't look real hard, had other things on my mind, like a big hunk of Chuck Taylor on a biscuit with bacon, don't care if it was chewy, I was starving. Inside, past the two gals who where there to entertain the truckers, it was hoppin', zombies mostly, lots of shuffling feet, but at least the CT smell was gone, now it just smelled like good ol' healthy All-American grease. I ordered an egg, cheese, ham, and bacon biscuit, man, even the photo of it on the menu board looked greasy.

In due time, I was handed a wrapped up object resembling what I had ordered, except it looked like it was created using a 3D printer with flavored lard as the media, and whooof, I ate it right quick, might have gotten some of the packaging too. I thought hard about fetching another, but then I'd need to buy one of them American Heart Association bracelets with my blood type and contact info. There was another guy over in the corner, food tray buried in wrappers, heck, if someone had slipped in a hot buttered skunk, he'd have slammed that down too.

Huge cup of dark roast, then two for the road, and I was heading towards Memphis, the river, and Arkansas. I got over to Memphis, no drama, but I thought I might have a chance to beat rush hour, no luck. Urban traffic looks all the same in the dark, not the same skyline to offer differentiation, could be Chicago, DC, LA, or anywhere, goofballs bumper-to-bumper, inevitable construction zones full of upended barrels and squashed cones. I'm sure those folks around me driving with such grim on-task determination thought they were on a mission too, snobby me, it looked like droning urbanism from where I was sitting, V649 riding along obediently out back.


I had a full load out of caffeine in me, more than enough to mitigate fatigue, and with only one more cup of coffee, I would have stopped to get a photo of the Arkansas welcome sign that was bolted to the girders of the Mississippi River bridge, instantly causing a 200 car pile up. I might have been mentioned on the morning TV news, but Texas was at the other end of Arkansas, no funny business, I needed to get on down there, like freakin' pronto.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,242 ·
Pfiuf, ok, let me know if you ride in the area ;) I'll take you to a great poutine ;)
be safe!
it's official, we now have a celebrity in our midst. our Canuckistanian inmate chid and his Chain Bath are featured on the front page of ADVrider.com, the inventor from the great white north makes good.
 

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it's official, we now have a celebrity in our midst. our Canuckistanian inmate chid and his Chain Bath are featured on the front page of ADVrider.com, the inventor from the great white north makes good.
Hihi well....... trying to help other riders that hate the chain cleaning ;)
It's amazing to see how many people are reticent to the change...

but if anybody is interested... shoot me a pm!

I have to admit that my Shrinkable Sofa was viewed a little bit more on the Business Insider platform :O
 

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you would be suffering some severe sticker shock if you had to actually pay the bill for the free advertising you received on ADV.
I saw about 400 views on my YouTube, and about 30 comments.
I'm actually looking for a company to license my idea, and it's amazing that not even one person contacted me to ask.
We'll see where it goes, but my chain is extremely happy :D I hope it can reach other riders too.
 

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the chinese will do the tooling setup and injection mold at no charge, you just have place an initial order of 100,000 and pay upfront. of course, then they'll ship another 100,000 out the back door and sell them on Aliexpress for 25% of your MSRP number.
Yeah.... I could do the mold and pay for a first run, but I don't have marketing, distribution and sales....
We'll see if a manufacturer is interested when my patent is granted and could have exclusivity.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,252 ·
Yeah.... I could do the mold and pay for a first run, but I don't have marketing, distribution and sales....
We'll see if a manufacturer is interested when my patent is granted and could have exclusivity.
it's a tough scene out there for the small business since the chineseum players have set such a low bar regarding ethical business practices. i hope whoever you partner with has in-house legal to protect your patent and their manufacturing rights.

recently bought a pair of riding gloves on Aliexpress. the ad photo on Ali does not show any bike manufacturer's logo, but when you get the gloves now there's a well known logo applied. the Ali price is 31% of the bike manufacturer's price on their company site for exactly the same glove. the bike people might be wondering why they don't sell as many gloves as marketing forecast.
 

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it's a tough scene out there for the small business since the chineseum players have set such a low bar regarding ethical business practices. i hope whoever you partner with has in-house legal to protect your patent and their manufacturing rights.

recently bought a pair of riding gloves on Aliexpress. the ad photo on Ali does not show any bike manufacturer's logo, but when you get the gloves now there's a well known logo applied. the Ali price is 31% of the bike manufacturer's price on their company site for exactly the same glove. the bike people might be wondering why they don't sell as many gloves as marketing forecast.
Yeah, very difficult as inventor, especially that I'm not specialized in motorcycle but I have many ideas in different fields.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,254 · (Edited)
a rider asked if i was going to do a YouTube on my TIG welding experience, i'm getting a learner's permit on that machine. my response...

"i hope you're not suggesting a video by me, although i did come up some catchy titles as i had very fleeting visions of YouTube stardom, then reality intervened.

besides, i already had my brush with Hollywood out there in the Big Land.

The motel is being remodeled and a little beat up, don't care, I need food, beer, and a bed. Hot water would be nice. The girl bartender checked me in and gave me a key, no food, the kitchen was closed. On the other hand, the bar was open, and everyone knows that beer is food, same thing. I stash the drybag, jacket, and helmet, head for the bar, and walk in on Bingo Night. So now there were 75 women and only two men in the bar, the other male was the guy calling the bingo game through a scratchy mike. Jack the Ripper could have walked through the door and those women would have never even looked up from those bingo cards, serious stuff.

I was sampling all the different beers in the cooler and enjoying my potato chip dinner, man, I was starting to feel a lot better after that long ride. Even the bartender was playing bingo, and when she caught a number she would use that highlighter like she had a hammer in her hand, boom, boom.

Just then another guy comes in, takes a seat at the bar, and asks if I've been traveling on the Trans Lab. Yup. Now I'm being interviewed by a reporter for some Ontario newspaper who's doing an article on the Trans Lab travel experience. Lucky he found me, after six beers, I'm Professor TLab, the ultimate freakin' expert on the subject. He ran out of notebook space to write on, I was sorta rambling, and so he reached for his video camera, and now were doing a video interview. I drank another beer or two, warmed to the subject, and filled up the memory card on that camera. Then I filled up the spare memory card with even more pertinent information and he had to quit, besides the bar was closing. Whew, this Hollywood stuff is hard work.

Eventually I found my room and retired, I reckon I pretty much used up this day. If ya happen to see that interview, take notes, I might have said something important.
"
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,255 ·
some riders have been reading the Kronicles, and often the question comes up "Is there any information in other rider's reports that could be pertinent for that big ride I have planned?"

the answer is, absolutely, and there are examples found right in the Kronicles, for instance...

1. don't stand next to a size 24 girl wearing size 2 clothes
2. don't stare at a woman who's ready to cut your balls off with her car keys
3. if the cute coed cashier girl can read your mind, it's time to leave
4. tip money isn't always about the money
5. Rouge Pur Couture in “Red Alert” is a huge distraction
6. a french cut T and extra long underarm hair is a bad combo
7. don't get stuck with the short leg bar stool in Hyder
8. if ya can’t find a church steeple in a freakin' bean field, avoid certain roads
9. when the spandex T she has on says MMMM-YUM, be ready with something witty
10. a person with an uncommonly good memory can be spooky as heck

see, told ya so, and that's just a small sampling of the helpful info found in the Kronicles.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,256 ·
THE KWIK MART KHRONICLES 102

There was a long wait for a pilot truck, don't know why, there wasn't any traffic. The college boy flagger was bored stiff standing around by himself, nothing to do, leaning every bit of his weight on the staff of the stop sign, without it he'd fall over. Pilot truck shows, now I'm on my way, woman driving, ya know, one of those women that people describe as big boned, all the while meaning something else altogether.

Halfway through, she suddenly cranks the wheel left with them big ol' man hands, and then jumps up onto the new pavement surface over a six inch asphalt lip. Sorry, I'm not doing that just yet, need a better angle, and I move the opposite direction. Now I'm getting freakin' man hand signals to get my butt over to the other side, oh honey, you're so cute when you get all pissed off like that. Lucky she didn't have her six shooter, she looked to be on the man-hater side of that bi-polar phenomenon, shading towards BSC, if ya know what I mean. Must have been a real popular figure with the rest of that road crew.


Clear the construction zone, now I'm back on pavement, and a few more miles up the road I find a Dodge pickup in the northbound lane with the front axle, transfer case, and a bunch of other parts torn completely off, various fluids all over the road, it looked more like a plane crash than a traffic accident. I can't imagine what the guy ran into, there was nothing else around, a mystery. On into Boulder for fuel and a break, one of those old time shepherd's wagons with a modern carriage parked next door to the quik mart, ready to go but not in use, the corn broom at the door a classic feature going back to the 19th century when sheep were introduced in the west.

[IMG]


The cashier girl said she had seen many through bicycles, a few hikers, and very few motos, strange, since this is an obvious place to stop for fuel on the CDR route. She hadn't heard about the wreck in the road a short distance to the south, didn't know who the truck belonged to, no trooper or EMS truck had passed by the store running siren and flashers.

[IMG]


Outside, a small dog runs out in the highway and nearly gets hit, screeching brakes, smoking tires, the driver shaking his head. A few minutes later, there's almost another wreck right in front of the store when an SUV with a travel trailer pulls away from the pumps and out on the highway right in front of a ranch truck, cowboy with his foot to the floor, even more smoke, big ass black streaks on the macadam, fist shakin', I guess that one ton truck was too small to see. At least those people were going the opposite direction, didn't have to worry about them seeing me. Man, in a few short minutes, an actual monstrous wreck, another near monstrous wreck, and a near dog squashing, I better get the heck away from here.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,257 · (Edited)
THE KWIK-MART KHRONICLES 103

The route today contained a little bit of a geographic oddity. I’d left Alaska in the last day, entered Yukon Territory, departed Yukon Territory, entered British Columbia, departed British Columbia, then crossed the border back into Alaska, don’t forget to have your passport stamped at the BC/Alaska border station. While I had run along a number of mountain ranges since Alaska this morning, I’m down lower now, and from the Alaska border to Haines I’m running through a wooded area with more traffic and development than I had seen for hundreds of miles.

Mandatory fuel stop first thing in Haines, and as I'm fueling I see a Triumph go by, stop, make a u-turn and come back. The rider is a retired Alaska State Trooper. The guy had his leathers on and sat that bike like it was custom made just for him.




When I remark that it didn't look like there were many places close by to air it out, he said with a laugh “Oh, I know a few roads“. He said he stopped to look at the bike, but I think the real reason was to show off his own moto. Whatever reason, a real interesting guy with tales from his Trooper days, and I'm glad he stopped. I mentioned that I was taking the ferry over to Skagway later that evening, when we shook hands, I said ‘Til we meet again” and he replied “Oh, we’ll meet again soon.“ He would track me down again later in the day to show me the Guzzi he's restoring, Haines ain’t that big a place.

Drink and a snack on my mind, and as I was reaching for the quik mart door, a guy came busting through the door from the other side in a rush, and I quick stepped out of the way to avoid a collision, then backed up some more when I got a look at the person in front of me, did I mention the smell, haysoooos christo, it was bad. I could have said homeless, but then not, more the look of a nerdy game boy taking a very short break from around the clock video game warfare in the cave.

Totally disheveled, coke bottle eye glasses, kinda reminded me of the glass we used to start leaves on fire when I was a kid. The smell coming off him was beyond forgetfulness in the personal hygiene department, more like he was starting to decompose under his clothes. No hat, and the none too subtle vapors coming out of his greasy tangled mess of hair included ozone, hot electrical circuitry, and weed.

He’d had something to eat in the store, couldn’t tell what exactly, but he shoved some half chewed part of it back in his mouth, turned around and walked away. Not that I was sorry to see him go, being judgmental and all that, but the smell might be transitional, jump the gap, then land on me. Trust me there, I once had woman’s cologne stuck on my riding gear for every bit of 24 hours, I don’t think a power washer could have removed it.

I’d lost my appetite on the first sniff of that dude, bad news, but the good news was that my sinus cavities had been cleared of road dust and pollen, somebody should bottle that smell and sell it to anyone with seasonal allergies. I still needed a drink, a freakin’ Mountain Dew type jolt to bring me ‘round, and I was reaching for the door handle again when it opened.

Stepping through the door was a very tall, imposing, and ridiculously handsome individual, nicely tanned over a body builder physique, short cropped hair styled in a fade, all the pieces fitting together in harmonious effect. I got a quick glance, and the look on my face must have been a tell, because the glance said “Don’t even think about saying anything witty, I can kill you with my bare hands.” OK, OK, got it, I suppose that means no photos too.

Thirtyish maybe, she turned back to see if she still had her companion in tow. Her companion was twentyish, blond, a blue eyed beauty, straight hair to her waist, coltish in carriage, and it looked like she had more length in legs than I was tall. Man oh man, what a pair, and ya really didn’t need any undertones or overtones to confirm that romance was in the air. Haines of all places, but I’d traveled through Minnesota and Wisconsin quite a few times recently, and could distinguish certain behavior from a distance, instantly up close. They had just fueled their BMW and took off with a tire chirp, do I even have to say who was driving?

I had some chores to do, cleaned up the bike, oil and filter changed, replaced a lamp on one of the piaa fogs, and went over to the post office to mail some junk home. I forgot to pack some things I needed, and brought some things I've never touched. It took a lot longer than it should have to get the box packed. I was parked near the front door, and about everyone that went by wanted to stop and chat about the bike or the trip, including a drunk who drove up in an old rusty pickup.


He was trying to talk to me, but kept losing his train of thought, a stupid alcohol fueled effort, and I was quickly losing patience with this dope. Suddenly a friend of his walked up and said “Did you just drive over here?”, and the guy slurred back “Yeah, I been drinkin' too much to walk this fur, figgered ah better drive“. Oh man, where's that State Trooper dude?
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,258 · (Edited)
2011 Versys available in the FOR SALE section of the forum, very nice clean bike. the 2nd generation bikes have been my favorite, the era before the sportbike plastic. these bikes can go places, and i figured a link in this build/travel thread would would be appropriate since i ran a moto with an OEM stock Versys suspension up to Deadhorse. many stock suspended Versys bikes have been similar places, like Tuk at the end of the road NWT.

2011 VERSYS 650

BIKE WAS SOLD.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,260 ·
Well, the day had arrived, sunrise, and I heard the starter pistol, man, I was out of the freakin' blocks like Usain Bolt. Ya see, after much consternation and delay, I was finally departing for Paris. The details and logistics were a little fuzzy, but Monsieur Nix, my traveling companion, riding under the nom de guerre of dljocky, assured me that he not only knew the way, but was also fluent in French. I know a little French myself, but prefer not to use it since fistfights usually are quick to develop. When encountering linguistic difficulties, I've found it best to start speaking Spanglish, heck, just about everyone knows that language, so if ya don't, it ain't my problemo, amigo, whatever. See what I mean.

Figured I better let dljocky know I was leaving, Paris in my sights, and I caught him on the cell.

"Got the boat all set, see ya there."


"Huh, boat?"

"Yeah, boat, ya know, Paris, gonna meet the captain and load the bike on the boat in 30 minutes."

"WTF you talkin' about?" and the connection was dropped, oh well.

The captain was on time, and I met him in the parking lot, young feller, didn't look too salty, and I said

"Where's the big ass boat you said you had ready to go?"

"Tied to the pier right over there."

"How's that boat supposed to get me and the bike to Paris, it's the size of a freakin' dingy.?"

"Paris, like Paris, France?"

"Is there any other?"

"How the heck do I know, except you be wastin' my time", and that's when dljocky called back, turned out I didn't need the boat after all. At least I got the captain to take a photo. He made a motion like he was going to chuck my camera out into the saltwater, lucky he was mostly just kidding around.


[IMG]

I had the camera zipped into the tank bag when I said "You sure that ain't a dingy?", kicked it in gear, got the heck gone. As for the captain, he must be native Italian, at least he was communicating in Italian sign language. I was watching in the mirrors, paying close attention, now I'm multilingual, easy, didn't have to pay for those expensive tutorial CDs either.


All news to me, but instead of heading east, now Monsieur Nix has me riding northwest to Paris. Hope it all works out, I'd like to try some of them snails, sample the foy grass.

(to be continued)
 
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