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Little Johnny, grade 3, but a bit of a sewer mouth. Teacher asks for a 'show-of-hands' as to who can use various words in a sentence.
First word is "balls". Little Johnny has his hand UP immediately, but 'teach' figures she better skip him, fearing his answer....
Second is "abreast". Again Little Johnny has his hand UP immediately, but again she skips him. Third and fourth words are "late" and "lovely", and AGAIN Little Johnny has his hand UP immediately. Teach thinks about it, decides these are pretty safe, so asks him to use "late" and "lovely" in a sentence.

Little Johnny stands up, says " Last night at supper my Sis said she is 'late', and Daddy yelled "Lovely, just effing lovely!"..."

:yeahsmile:
 

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..so this guy is out in the boondocks, hiking all over the place, and comes upon a tremendous hole in the ground. He takes a pebble and throws it into the dark hole: theree isn't the slightest hint of a sound. Next he takes a large boulder and throws it down the hole: again, no sound. This all fascinates him...

...now he sees a huge railroad tie a few yards away...and the drags it to the edge of the hole and tips it in, hoping to hear it hit bottom. As the tie falls, he is distracted by a sound behind him and looks to see a goat running toward the hole at an incredible speed. The goat heads directly for the hole and dives right in.

As the guy ponders all these events for some degree of reason he is approached by a worried hillbilly who asks him if he has possibly seen his goat: the man says "Yeah! He came running down here and jumped right into that hole!"

"That's impossible!" said the hillbilly. "I had him tied up to a huge railroad tie!"
 

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When I bought the V my wife said "Fine" as well but insisted it be titled in her name. I guess I'm on a short leash.
Guess I'm pretty lucky. I was flip flopping back and forth at the dealership and my girlfriend said "get the damn bike!" :eek:

Maybe I should marry that one.
 

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Sharing Friday's Joke of the Day with a relative, he responded with this:

Dear Abby:

I have never written to you before, but I really need you advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time my wife is cheating on me.

Usual signs...the phone rings but if I answer the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot lately although when I ask their names she says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I stay awake to look out for her taxi, but she always walks down the drive. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think down deep I didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to check up on her. I decided I was going to park my BMW R1150 GS motorcycle next to the garage and hide behind it so I could get a view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, while crouching behind my bike that I noticed the valve cover on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself, or should I take it to the dealer?

Wondering in Alabama
 
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