I would not know where to start explaining using up my 8 of the cats 9 lives
Phil - GOOD post...!
Can't remember the DUMBEST thing I've done on a bike.... PROBABLY a good thing!
Oh yes - MAYBE I can:
...riding my FIRST enduro (FIM style) in Quebec back in '75. I knew a BIT about riding dirt, but NOT enough! ATGATT w/ new SiDi enduro boots, starting to rain, going to ride my first "special section" (timed thru a section of trail), which in this case was going UP an expert ski run (black diamond).
They waved me off, and I 'squirted-up' the hill, around a bend, then UP again, to another bend where I saw a downed tree, maybe 18" thick, across the trail. From the tire-marks and the lack of bark I could see that they were riding OVER it, so I rode INTO that tree at... whatever speed.... No wheelie - NUTHIN!
Due to the slickness of the wet, bark-less tree trunk, my Yamaha DT360 'snapped' to the left, driving my right leg into the tree between the DT and it, and I was thrown OVER the tree, my foot CAUGHT by the bike. I THINK I shattered my fibula when I hit (about 10 pieces over about 6"), but as my body continued over, my ankle PINNED by the bike, FINALLY my ankle had had enough, and I broke the end of the tibia where it goes over the ankle.
I still recall that it seemed like a light went off in my head (just like in the cartoons of Wiley Coyote), and now, on my back in the mud upstream of the tree, worried that someone would ride OVER the tree and onto me (there was a DT360 on the other side kind of advertising that the way was NOT clear
...), I took my helmet off w/ ONE pull w/out undoing it - adrenalin, I guess - and it was a full-face(!!!) - and scrabbled backwards away from the tree YELLING at the top-of-my-lungs....
Eventually I was carried out on a ski-lift-shack door, and ended up at a hospital where an orthopedic surgeon spent three hours putting my leg back together (TWO pins, ONE of which - the one at the ankle-end of my tibia - is STILL there!).
I got better, had my license to fly back in eight weeks (two were physio-therapy), and rode one HELLUVA lot better the next season!