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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-18-2015, 08:01 AM Thread Starter
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Canadians on the Move

Dave and Nadine are at the Phoenix airport awaiting their flight. They’re ready to head home to the Canadian winter so are dressed in their heavy boots, parkas, scarfs and mittens.
An elderly American couple standing nearby and dressed in shorts, T-shirts and sandals are intrigued by their manner of dress.
The wife says to her husband, "Look at that couple. I wonder where they're from?"
He replies, "How would I know?"
She says, "Well, you could go ask them."
“Look," he says, “I don't really care. You want to know, you go ask them."
She decides to do just that, walks over to the couple and says, "Excuse me, I’ve noticed the way you're dressed and wonder where you're from?"
Dave replies, "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan."
The woman thanks them and returns to her husband who asks, “So, where are they from?"
She replies, "I don't know. They don't speak English."
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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-18-2015, 09:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiko View Post
Dave and Nadine are at the Phoenix airport awaiting their flight. They’re ready to head home to the Canadian winter so are dressed in their heavy boots, parkas, scarfs and mittens.
An elderly American couple standing nearby and dressed in shorts, T-shirts and sandals are intrigued by their manner of dress.
The wife says to her husband, "Look at that couple. I wonder where they're from?"
He replies, "How would I know?"
She says, "Well, you could go ask them."
“Look," he says, “I don't really care. You want to know, you go ask them."
She decides to do just that, walks over to the couple and says, "Excuse me, I’ve noticed the way you're dressed and wonder where you're from?"
Dave replies, "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan."
The woman thanks them and returns to her husband who asks, “So, where are they from?"
She replies, "I don't know. They don't speak English."

Arion

"Plan? Plan! There ain't no plan."
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-18-2015, 11:36 AM
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-18-2015, 11:58 PM
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Good one!

Lovin every minute of it!
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-19-2015, 07:21 AM
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Did that really happen?
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-19-2015, 07:47 AM Thread Starter
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No it is just I joke I read on the local web board here in Jalisco, Mexico. From October to April, about 4000 Canadians (most from Ontario) come down for the winter months to bask in the sun in a small town about 10 miles from me. That represents about 1/2 the population of that town. Some of the Canadians are permanent residents year round, but most leave for the spring/summer months.

Here is another:

A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.
He decides, because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty stewardess.
He decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto: 'To Fly. To Serve'.

The woman looks at him blankly.

He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto: 'Winning the Hearts of the World'.

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto: 'Going Beyond Expectations'.

The woman looks at him sternly and says:

'What the f*** do you want?'

'Ah ha!' he says...."Air Canada". Beer
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-19-2015, 08:27 AM
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A gas station in Halifax was trying to increase it's sales. So the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex With Fill-Up."

Soon a Canadian pulls in, fills his tank, and then asks for his free sex.

The gas attendant tells him pick to a number from 1 to 10 if he guesses correctly, he will get his free sex. The Canadian says, "7" The gas attendant says, "You were close, sir, but the number was 6. Sorry, no sex this time."

A week later, the same Canadian, along with his buddy, pulls in for a fill up.

Again he asks for his free sex and again the gas attendant gives him the same story and asks him to guess the correct number. The Canadian says, "5" The gas attendant says, "Sorry,it was 4. You were so close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the Canadian says to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex." The buddy replies,"No, it ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-19-2015, 08:36 AM
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Canada had the most potential of any nation in history. They could have had the culture of the British, the cuisine of the French and the technology of the Americans.

Instead, they got the culture of the Americans, the cuisine of the British and the technology of the French.


Canada: Home of the largest French population never to surrender to Germany

Last edited by twowheels; 02-19-2015 at 08:38 AM.
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-19-2015, 11:38 AM
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Heaven Is Where:

The French are the chefs
The Italians are the lovers
The British are the police
The Germans are the mechanics
And the Swiss make everything run on time

Hell is Where:

The British are the chefs
The Swiss are the lovers
The French are the mechanics
The Italians make everything run on time
And the Germans are the police
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-19-2015, 11:48 AM
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Stop! Stop! I'm laughing so hard I can't stand up and coffee came out of my nose! Oh, never mind - I'm an American and have no culture.

Arion

"Plan? Plan! There ain't no plan."
Pig Killer, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-19-2015, 12:21 PM
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LOL ...but I'm in a very quiet office ... OK not LOL, but a stifled chucked, ... but, it feels like my eyes might pop out, Aye.
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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-19-2015, 02:17 PM Thread Starter
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Stop! Stop! I'm laughing so hard I can't stand up and coffee came out of my nose! Oh, never mind - I'm an American and have no culture.
I was hanging out with some Canadians at a taco stand a while back enjoying my tacos 'a mano', in the hand, and one them commented "You Americans have no culture, we don't handle food like that".

My reply was "You must Canadian, so he asks me 'How did you know that?'

"Because I saw your Univ of Toronto class ring when you were picking your nose."
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-20-2015, 12:02 PM
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FWIW kiko - the local radio station I listen to in the garage (working on my V...), from Claypool, AZ, plays '60s and '70s rock. Its call sign is...KIKO...!


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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-22-2015, 08:49 PM
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As a canadian, I'm getting bash by those joke

But I have to admit that they are funny !!!

Further more, I'm a french canadian, so I will proudly accept "twowheels" comment about not surrending (lightbulb moment for me), altough I'm clearly to young to be realy involved in those wars


LOP
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-22-2015, 09:13 PM
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Originally Posted by twowheels View Post
Canada had the most potential of any nation in history. They could have had the culture of the British, the cuisine of the French and the technology of the Americans.

Instead, they got the culture of the Americans, the cuisine of the British and the technology of the French.


Canada: Home of the largest French population never to surrender to Germany
The popular idea that the french simply surrendered to germans is untrue...this is an idea supported and past along by a lying political party....guess which one...
Secondly..there were many many many frenchmen who never surrendered...ever hear of Charles Degaulle..the french resistance?

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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-22-2015, 10:24 PM
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I've always wanted to go to Saskatoon. It's a Blue Rodeo thing... Blue Rodeo has a live album..some of it recorded in Saskatoon. "Just Like a Vacation"
http://www.bluerodeo.com/discography...-a-vacation-2/

I'm no diplomat
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-26-2015, 12:39 AM
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Originally Posted by chadams66 View Post
The popular idea that the french simply surrendered to germans is untrue...this is an idea supported and past along by a lying political party....guess which one...
Secondly..there were many many many frenchmen who never surrendered...ever hear of Charles Degaulle..the french resistance?

I'm a WW2 history buff. Read up on the British attack on the French fleet at Mets-el-Kebir and the reasons for it for an example of French idiocy during WW2. Another example is the idiotic strategy, based on WW1 strategy, they had to defend France and why France only lasted 3 months against a smaller German army.
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-26-2015, 12:47 AM
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Originally Posted by chadams66 View Post
The popular idea that the french simply surrendered to germans is untrue...this is an idea supported and past along by a lying political party....guess which one...
Secondly..there were many many many frenchmen who never surrendered...ever hear of Charles Degaulle..the french resistance?

If it weren't for the French, I would be English.
Thank you.
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-26-2015, 12:53 AM
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I'm a WW2 history buff. Read up on the British attack on the French fleet at Mets-el-Kebir and the reasons for it for an example of French idiocy during WW2.
Wow, that's fascinating. I had no idea the English had done that. That's a cool piece of history trivia to know.
I'm not sure I would call it "French idiocy" though. More like English overreaction, maybe a combination of both.

Last edited by ray h; 02-26-2015 at 12:56 AM.
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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-26-2015, 06:19 AM Thread Starter
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My mother is a WWII bride from the Vosges region of France. When I visited that area I stayed in Belfort. If you are interested in French military history, google it up.

Here's a quick link. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Belfort
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