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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2015, 08:22 AM Thread Starter
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Is there Sex after Death?

A couple had made a deal that whoever died first would come back and let the other know if there was an afterlife, particularly if there is sex after death.
Frank was the first to die. True to his word, after a few weeks he made contact, appearing to his wife in a dream.
"Kris, can you hear me?"
"Is that you, Frank?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning and have sex. I eat breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (and Kris, you'd be proud -- lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and the next day it starts all over again".
"Oh, Frank! Are you in Heaven?"
"No -- I'm a rabbit somewhere in Arizona."
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2015, 08:35 AM
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XD good one

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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2015, 11:14 AM
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"Is there Sex after Death?"...

GOOD question, but I'm an old fan of Dr Hook - in their song..."FREAKIN AT THE FREAKERS BALL" I BELIEVE a line goes:

'...necrophiliacs doin' it with dead ones...'

so I guess there IS ...Sex after Death...!


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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2015, 08:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fasteddiecopeman View Post
"Is there Sex after Death?"...

GOOD question, but I'm an old fan of Dr Hook - in their song..."FREAKIN AT THE FREAKERS BALL" I BELIEVE a line goes:

'...necrophiliacs doin' it with dead ones...'

so I guess there IS ...Sex after Death...!

Mr. Silverstein new how to write a good song as well as children's stories
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2015, 08:41 PM
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Hard to believe that "The Giving Tree" and that came out of the same mind.
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2015, 11:58 AM
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Mr. Silverstein new how to write a good song as well as children's stories
Didn't he also write "the Christmas Story"? You know - "You'll shoot your eye out!"....

Ed
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2015, 02:21 PM
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I know a guy who thinks there are motorcycles and good roads in heaven..would that be better than sex in heaven? Gawd is watching us all the time and knows everything we do..doesn't that make him a voyeur? will all sex in heaven be in the missionary style (does gawd approve of blow jobs? will there be blow jobs in heaven...will it be heaven without blow jobs??) will you only get to screw your wife in heaven (as if you didn't get enough of that down here already)?? and finally..seeing how's our bodies stay here and our souls go to heaven..how is any of this going to work?

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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2015, 02:58 PM
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Didn't he also write "the Christmas Story"? You know - "You'll shoot your eye out!"....
That was Jean Shepherd. I have several of his books of short stories, and tapes of him narrating his short stories. He narrates the "Christmas Story" movie, and appears in one scene. He is the bearded guy that send Ralphie back to the end of the line to see Santa at the department store.
Ho, ho, hhhoooo...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Shepherd
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2015, 03:04 PM
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Heres what i hope heaven is....

fe03e91944b100238f895062b9c15554 by weljo2001, on Flickr

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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2015, 03:31 PM
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Heres what i hope heaven is....

fe03e91944b100238f895062b9c15554 by weljo2001, on Flickr
I think I just found Jesus!
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2015, 04:08 PM
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I think I just found Jesus!


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I'm not a Gynecologist. "But I'll Take A Look"

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth...
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2015, 04:59 PM
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Heres what i hope heaven is....

fe03e91944b100238f895062b9c15554 by weljo2001, on Flickr
she has a beautiful soul.....seeing how's it's "heaven" will her seconds be sloppy?? (answer: only if that's the way you like 'em)

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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2015, 05:17 PM
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There is no heaven, of course... There is however life after death, and therefore sex after death.
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-29-2015, 11:42 AM
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Originally Posted by trialsguy View Post
That was Jean Shepherd. I have several of his books of short stories, and tapes of him narrating his short stories. He narrates the "Christmas Story" movie, and appears in one scene. He is the bearded guy that send Ralphie back to the end of the line to see Santa at the department store.
Ho, ho, hhhoooo...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Shepherd
Thanks for the correction. When I posted my comment I had a 'nagging' feeling that it wasn't ole Shel.

LOVE reading BOTH authors! Shepherd wrote some GREAT stuff about the effects of WW2 back home in the USA.

Ed
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-29-2015, 12:46 PM
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she has a beautiful soul.....seeing how's it's "heaven" will her seconds be sloppy?? (answer: only if that's the way you like 'em)

Actually this is hell, his beer bottle has a hole in it, but she doesn't...
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