GF of two years, we just ended it. - Kawasaki Versys Forum
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post #1 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 03:32 PM Thread Starter
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GF of two years, we just ended it.

She wanted to get married, i cant see it happening. I knew that as of today, i didnt want to get married and couldnt put a time frame on when it would if ever happen. She was my best friend, and pretty much my whole life besides work and my dog. Probably the single hardest thing ive ever done in my whole life.

I know im a youngerish guy here, 32, she is 29. What the **** guys? This crap happen to the rest of you at some point?
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post #2 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 05:59 PM
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I've been married since I was 24, I'm 43 now. We have done lots of stuff together over the years, and she just got a street bike to come cruising with me. We're planning an epic ride for our 20th anniversary next year. I'd say she's my best friend.

Maybe you should reconsider? Good ones don't come along very often...

Mike
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post #3 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 06:00 PM
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Tough Situation

Sorry to hear about your break-up. That's a tough situation you're in there. She was your best friend, eh? One of the major parts of your life, you said?
Sounds like she was a lot more than a casual girlfriend. And you're thinking that it's not right to string her along, so you broke up with her?

You've got some soul-searching to do, I'd imagine. Give it a little time, and see if your real feelings become a little clearer. But don't take too much time - good girls don't stay on the market for long.

Just remember this: While it may seem that good-quality girls are a dime a dozen, and another one will come along in a few years (when you're more ready to commit), that's not always how it works. Is anyone ever really ready to commit? This is your life, Man. Right now.

Think about it hard. Better yet, pray about it hard. Good luck.

Where else but the Versys Forum can a guy go to get motorcycle advice and relationship advice in the same place?

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post #4 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 06:11 PM
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My last girl, a "friend with benefits" for many years, wanted to take it to the next level. Marriage. Wasn't in the cards for me so I told her "no". She replied "I never want to see you again". (You know, the usual) She is now in Alaska living in a yurt. The end. I do miss banging her on the seat of the motorcycle however.(only a hundred pounds, hardly ate up any horsepower) Hope this helps.
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post #5 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 06:14 PM
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Funny you bring this up. I am currently going through a divorce. We've been married 20 years, but she moved out before the 20th anniversary. Didn't see it coming, and let me tell you, you think you're a manly man, just wait until your wife tells you she doesn't want to be married to you any more & moves out a week later. Ouch.

My point? Not sure really, maybe life's too short to be alone, or lonely. Maybe sometimes we get too wrapped up in ourselves & our own needs. I don't know you or much about your situation, but I loved being a husband, and I love being a father. I wasn't the best husband & have MANY regrets. There are SO many things I wish I could change, but it appears to be too late for me.

If she truly is your best friend & as big a part of your life as you say, maybe you're pulling the ejection handle a little too quick...



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post #6 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 06:23 PM
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i dated a girl for 6 years when i was in my 20's, she was a few years younger...she decided to get married...just not to me! left me for a guy she knew for a few months an married him a few months later....now its 10 years down the road, she has a kid and isnt happy...guess who she's been talking to again..yep..me...but i cant see going back.....they say you will know when the time is right..i'm 42 now and can honestly say im glad i didnt marry her or anyone yet for that matter...just like my freedom..to each his own tho.....
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post #7 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 06:58 PM Thread Starter
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I knew the Versys people had brains too. You all have really given me something to think about, im jsut really damn confused and worried at the moment. I dont have a problem being alone, my life has always kind of been lived that way, so i know thats got nothing to do with this, but now i am feeling alot of regret and alot of nonsensical typing coming on.
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post #8 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 08:22 PM
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I married my best friend. I can't think of anyone better to marry, but you have to want to be married. Full partnership, together through whatever.

Whatever works for you.


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post #9 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 08:53 PM
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The decision to get married was an easy one for me mcampana. I always knew I wanted to have a wife and kids. I was just always looking for the wrong kind of woman - one that would fall all over me, and tell me what I wanted to hear. Those relationships never worked out. Then I realized that a girl right under my nose for some time, a good friend, might be worth asking out. Almost twenty-five years, and two beautiful daughters later, she STILL is my best friend. If your not ready to get married, don't talk yourself into it. IMHO that would be a big mistake. But, you may need to do some heavy reflection on what you really want out of life. Good luck to you.
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post #10 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 11:54 PM
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Just remember that most women change once they get married. It's like they accomplished their goal and now they don't have to try anymore.

If she was really in love with you and is willing to walk away because your not ready for marriage then she isn't the right one. If she doesn't come back then you'll know.
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post #11 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-07-2010, 07:31 AM
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Sorry ladies, I didn't realize this was such a serious thread so let me re-up with this sage advice given to me by an old woman. It is this- If the answer is "I DON'T KNOW" then it's "NO".
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post #12 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-07-2010, 01:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bones View Post
I married my best friend. I can't think of anyone better to marry, but you have to want to be married. Full partnership, together through whatever.

Whatever works for you.

100% true...



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post #13 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-07-2010, 01:09 PM
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32 huhh. you f--ked up!

If you broke this off for reasons other than she was a cheating whore and was sexting naked pics of herself to guys she met in a bar. then you just totally screwed yourself.

She is probably devastated.

She would be an idiot to consider taking you back.

You should have sat down with your mom and dad,sisters and brothers and her mom and dad. You should have let everyone know what your malfunction was.

Yes they do change after marrige but it takes a long time.
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post #14 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-07-2010, 01:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Mark Milanowski View Post
32 huhh. you f--ked up!

If you broke this off for reasons other than she was a cheating whore and was sexting naked pics of herself to guys she met in a bar. then you just totally screwed yourself.

She is probably devastated.

She would be an idiot to consider taking you back.

You should have sat down with your mom and dad,sisters and brothers and her mom and dad. You should have let everyone know what your malfunction was.

Yes they do change after marrige but it takes a long time.


LOL...that's pretty funny.

Any woman who gives an ultimatum is not marrying for love. She might be trying to accomplish a goal. Women like that also may be materialistic with superiority complexes. Remember..in this country guys never win in marriages.

If you're not ready for marriage then you're not ready. Doesn't matter how old you are. Marriage is way overrated.
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post #15 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-07-2010, 02:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Mark Milanowski View Post
32 huhh. you f--ked up!

If you broke this off for reasons other than she was a cheating whore and was sexting naked pics of herself to guys she met in a bar. then you just totally screwed yourself.

She is probably devastated.

She would be an idiot to consider taking you back.

You should have sat down with your mom and dad,sisters and brothers and her mom and dad. You should have let everyone know what your malfunction was.

Yes they do change after marrige but it takes a long time.
Everything he said is precisely WRONG.

I know things are tough now. I've been there. Time really does heal all wounds. If you stand by your principles, you will be happy in the end (and sooner than that).

Chin up, man. It will be OK.
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post #16 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-07-2010, 03:10 PM
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Ah, fear of commitment, it paves such a sorrowful path....


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post #17 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-07-2010, 04:50 PM
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Women may change after they get married, but so do men. Everyone changes. You have life experiences, your body grows up and then old, and then someday you die, hopefully after a good long life. Mrs Bones and I are going on 15 years this year. She loves movies and Hollywood, I love riding motorcycles. Sometimes I go to the movies with her, sometimes she goes for rides with me. We've got lots of interests in common and also know how to give one another space. She'd do anything for me, I'd do anything for her.

I don't know you, mcampana, or your (former) GF, but if she was your best friend and pretty much your whole life, I'm just not following you. Your call, but since you asked, what's missing?


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post #18 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-07-2010, 06:36 PM
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[QUOTE=Mark Milanowski;70388]32 huhh. you f--ked up!

You should have sat down with your mom and dad,sisters and brothers and her mom and dad. You should have let everyone know what your malfunction was.
QUOTE]

Dude that was too funny!

Yeah they change, but heck I used to have alot of hair on my head too, and hell I didn't used to have any growing in my ears either. It's all part of it.

I think the biggest thing is, like someone else said, you have to want to be married! If you want to be married it sounds like she's a keeper, if not then move on.


Mike
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post #19 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-07-2010, 08:09 PM
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Everyone changes with time (marriage is just a milestone) that is what growing up or old mean. In every period of your life you are a different person and so is your partner. However, as long as you have a shared vision of the future together you can make it work.
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post #20 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-07-2010, 09:02 PM
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Sorry to hear about your situation, Like Bears news also, my best friend and wife of 12 years left me in 08 out of the blue, I also didn't know it was coming. I fish too much was one of the complaints-something she used to love to do with me-oh how we change with time!
If you love this lady and she is truely your best friend, I would to try to reach a mutual compromise, like setting a date for at least a year or more down the road--this allows more time to grow thru the seasons and to face blockades life throws us along the way.
I replaced my wife with a V but I'm still lonely, don't fall into this unless your ready for many long nights.
Good luck!!


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