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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-31-2009, 06:03 PM Thread Starter
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Funny

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem
too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

1. A Bible.

2. A silver dollar.

3. A bottle of whiskey.

4. A Playboy magazine.


'I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.."

"If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!

"If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.

"But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.

"And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects
on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine's centerfold.

"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered. "He's gonna run for Congress.


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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-31-2009, 06:46 PM
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haha, I like it
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-31-2009, 08:38 PM
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Now that's funny, I don't care who you are.

2009 Versys
2000 Vulcan Drifter 800
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-31-2009, 09:18 PM
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Haaaa!
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-01-2009, 06:33 PM Thread Starter
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A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street one day when the brunette See's her boyfriend in the florist buying her some flowers.
"Oh not again" she says to the blonde,"I'm sick of him keep showering me with flowers".

"Are you crazy" asks he blonde, "I wish my husband would buy me flowers all the time, what's your problem"?.

"Well he always expects something in return, and I don't want to spend the next three days on my back with my legs in the air"!

" Why, haven't you got a vase"?............. asks the blonde.


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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-01-2009, 07:34 PM
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-01-2009, 08:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mountainrider View Post
A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street one day when the brunette See's her boyfriend in the florist buying her some flowers.
"Oh not again" she says to the blonde,"I'm sick of him keep showering me with flowers".

"Are you crazy" asks he blonde, "I wish my husband would buy me flowers all the time, what's your problem"?.

"Well he always expects something in return, and I don't want to spend the next three days on my back with my legs in the air"!

" Why, haven't you got a vase"?............. asks the blonde.

Now THAT is funny. Haven't heard a good blond joke in a while!
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-02-2009, 07:04 PM Thread Starter
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Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly says: 'My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. '

2nd Hillbilly says: 'Why is that stupid?'

1st Hillbilly says: 'We ain't got no 'lectricity!'

2nd Hillbilly says: 'That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin ' machines!'

1st Hillbilly says: 'Why is that so stupid?'

2nd Hillbilly says: ''Cause we ain't got no plummin'!'



3rd Hillbilly says: 'That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.'

1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: 'Well, what's so dumb about that?'

3rd Hillbilly says: 'She ain't got no pecker.


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