TGIF Joke of the day - Kawasaki Versys Forum
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-07-2013, 11:30 AM Thread Starter
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Smile TGIF Joke of the day

A biker stops by the local Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store/livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
While he is scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. I would w alk you home but I can't carry this lot."
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says, "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously and then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"
The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-07-2013, 01:26 PM
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LOL good stuff, thanks for sharing!


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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-07-2013, 01:50 PM
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I'm not a Gynecologist. "But I'll Take A Look"

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth...
Mike Tyson

"Ya'll can go to hell, I'm goin' to Texas!"...Davey Crockett
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-07-2013, 05:07 PM
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-07-2013, 05:24 PM
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I don't get it?





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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-07-2013, 06:44 PM
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the ol' gal wasn't gona put up a fight if it just so "happened"
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-11-2013, 06:26 PM
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A nun in full black habit is walking past a bar when a drunk stumbles out, sees her, and punches her square in the nose. Before she can scream, he lands a sloppy one-two and an uppercut. When she goes down, he starts kicking her with his scuffed business shoes. As a crowd gathers, the drunk stops, staggers back, and slurs, "You're not so tough, Batman!"

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I'm not a Gynecologist. "But I'll Take A Look"

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth...
Mike Tyson

"Ya'll can go to hell, I'm goin' to Texas!"...Davey Crockett
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-11-2013, 07:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weljo2001 View Post
a nun in full black habit is walking past a bar when a drunk stumbles out, sees her, and punches her square in the nose. Before she can scream, he lands a sloppy one-two and an uppercut. When she goes down, he starts kicking her with his scuffed business shoes. As a crowd gathers, the drunk stops, staggers back, and slurs, "you're not so tough, batman!"
lol!!
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-12-2013, 08:28 PM
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-12-2013, 11:24 PM
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Good one, King.Versys.

I thought even drunks loved Batman...

OK, I understand now:

Last edited by invader; 06-12-2013 at 11:30 PM.
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-14-2013, 07:23 PM
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How do you know when a female bartender is pissed off at you?

Theres a string hanging out of your bloody mary!!

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I'm not a Gynecologist. "But I'll Take A Look"

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth...
Mike Tyson

"Ya'll can go to hell, I'm goin' to Texas!"...Davey Crockett
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-14-2013, 07:39 PM
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Three guys come into work Monday morning, each bragging about how drunk they were over the weekend. The first says, "I was so drunk Saturday I was blowing chunks all night." The second says, "That's nothing. I was so drunk that I blacked out, tried to drive home, and wound up spending Sunday in jail." The third then says "Big deal. I got so drunk this weekend that I picked up a hooker, brought her home, and was banging her on the kitchen counter when my wife walked in on us." The first guy then interupts and says, "But you dont understand... Chunks is my dog."

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I'm not a Gynecologist. "But I'll Take A Look"

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth...
Mike Tyson

"Ya'll can go to hell, I'm goin' to Texas!"...Davey Crockett
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