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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-11-2012, 12:35 PM Thread Starter
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Very Important "How To"

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE...

(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'.. That will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying...Go to Hell...

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-11-2012, 12:52 PM
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Yes dear, you're right, I'm sorry
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-11-2012, 01:19 PM
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There are also two questions that deserve much consideration - or perhaps not, depending on how daring, or foolish, a male might be.

First: Does this dress make me look fat? Sensible answer: Absolutely not. Potentially fatal answer: No, fat makes you look fat.

Second: If a husband/boy friend/significant other is completely alone and what he says aloud cannot be heard by his wife/girl friend/significant other, is he still wrong? Female rseponse: Of course!

Though not a question, when your lady tells you you're wrong don't try to figure out why or how. The male mind simply is not as convoluted as the female mind, so you won't succeed no matter how hard you may try.

One final thought. Why don't women fart as much as men? They can't keep their mouths closed long enough to build up the required pressure.

So you won't think I'm stupid or fatalistic, my wife isn't here. She's at the hairdressers. Hairdressers? Men don't go to hairdressers, they just get a haircut - and it doesn't cost $80! Mine are $15 and the "left over" $65 goes to the Versys. I believe that's a very sensible approach.

Arion

"Plan? Plan! There ain't no plan."
Pig Killer, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-11-2012, 02:30 PM
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