Well, embarrassing as it is, V-Coaster wins the prize. Bike was in gear with kickstand down. I think what got me was not getting any fuel pump noise. When I first bought the bike, Kawi replaced my fuel pump under warranty because it would intermittently not come on. Guess there was a service bulletin on the pump at the time. Anyway, the lack of fuel pump plus no turning over of the engine with the starter made me jump immediately to bigger electrical problems - I was thinking maybe a sensor had thrown a code that disabled FI.
I did this to myself once before at a gas station, but since I wasn't under time pressure to get an alternate plan in motion, it only took a minute of sitting on the bike to figure out "in gear, dummy."
Thanks again, all.