Wife is pregnant, pressing me to sell the Versys. - Kawasaki Versys Forum
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post #1 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 02:07 PM Thread Starter
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Wife is pregnant, pressing me to sell the Versys.

I invested so much in the bike and I really like it, but somewhere deep down I do understand that it's a very dangerous hobby we engage in.
What did you (or would you) do in this situation?
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post #2 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 02:17 PM
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Get a large insurance policy on yourself.
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post #3 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 02:35 PM
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My girl keep hounding me to sell my bike. I just keep ignoring her....
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post #4 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 02:47 PM
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Not married, but my girlfriend (we have a daughter) tells me to go for a ride now and then, because it stops me going mental.

If she wants you to get rid of the bike for financial reasons, then that could make sense. Diapers and food are far more important than a bike, but if she wants you to sell the bike just because there's a baby on the way, she's completely overstepping her boundaries. It's absolutely none of her business.
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..be one of the good guys.
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post #5 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 02:57 PM Thread Starter
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Not married, but my girlfriend (we have a daughter) tells me to go for a ride now and then, because it stops me going mental.

If she wants you to get rid of the bike for financial reasons, then that could make sense. Diapers and food are far more important than a bike, but if she wants you to sell the bike just because there's a baby on the way, she's completely overstepping her boundaries. It's absolutely none of her business.
She just worries that I get in an accident and our child will either grow without a father or with a disabled father. Also, we are planning to buy a house so an extra 5k towards downpayment won't hurt either.
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post #6 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 02:58 PM Thread Starter
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Get a large insurance policy on yourself.
Yes, that's a great idea. But if do that, she will have an incentive to have me "killed" lol
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post #7 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 03:55 PM
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Congratulations on the upcoming child!!

Talk to your wife about safety and what you do to minimize risks. Make sure you have good gear and wear it. Make sure you don't ride like a lunatic.

Statistics do not apply to the individual specifically. That is, the statistics only indicate areas of higher or lower risk when properly calculated and understood. Yes, young males have a higher mortality rate on motorcycles than if they didn't ride. Yes, older men have a higher mortality rate, too. In the latter case it is highly correlated to alcohol consumption. In the former it relates to powerful bikes and high speeds.

If you ride moderately, ride sober, and wear your gear it should be pretty darned safe. Avoid dangerous times/places such as rush hour on the freeway.

If you're a thrill seeker, find other outlets. Maybe take some lessons at the track. You can get the thrill of speed without doing it in traffic.

Basically, you have to enjoy life, but you do need to temper it considering your responsibilities as a parent. Everything has risk, including sitting safely on the couch watching tv.

Regardless of your riding, you both need to have good life and medical insurance. If you are in the USA I strongly recommend getting a Living Trust which has many benefits over a will. If you don't have a trust, have a good will. Also, medical directives and who you want to be guardian of your children if both parents should pass.

Too many people don't have the basic documents and insurances. I've lost friends to disease and various accidents who didn't plan properly, leaving their families severely financially damaged and causing lots of legal hassles for their spouse, or leaving orphaned children with no clearly designated guardian and no $ to raise the kids.
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post #8 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 04:31 PM
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Fly- Sig is spot on and offers great examples of how you should evaluate what you should do and how you should plan to protect your family. You can be responsible, be safe, and ride a motorcycle too. The money aspect of course is important and hits home with a young family. There are many guys on this Forum that have ridden safely for 40 - 50 years. I'm assuming most have been (mostly) responsible in other aspects of their lives too.
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post #9 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 06:32 PM
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First congratulations, not everyone can or should raise children, it is generally a lifetime commitment, it has it's rewards, there are ups and downs. I have 3 children all adults 1 boy and 2 girls, and no regrets.

Fly-Sig and others offered good advice, normally I just like a comment that comes close to what I would say. When we bought a house and my wife decided to be a at home Mom, a policy was purchased, at that time called term insurance, to cover the cost of the house and support should something happen to me, also I was in a very dangerous type of work, all work can be dangerous. The main thing is we took out a policy on each child in trust plus what I mentioned , once the house was payed for we converted the policy.
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Last edited by onewizard; 06-13-2019 at 06:37 PM.
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post #10 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 07:43 PM
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Family first , Bike second.

Talk to her and think of the kid too. Once , you guys settle down, you can get the bike on a later date. I gave up biking for 20yrs as my two girls were growing up and need $ for education. I came back to biking at age 50yrs. Now they say" paps , take a ride and cool off"

Sit down and think...life is more than a bike.

wish you and your wife all the best.Take care and be well.
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post #11 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 07:56 PM
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When I got my FZ6 in 2006, when I arrived home with her my wife said she hasn’t seen me smile that much since our wedding!

I also got the bike when my kids were 6 months and 2 1/2 years old.

I told my wife I’d only ride ATGATT, and I’ve kept to that. I commute to work year round, though not much during winter as I’m in Colorado.

Riding is “my time”. No radio, no cell phone, just me and my Versys. I find riding a great distress.

If you enjoy riding, hopefully your good wife will be reasonable and let you continue what you enjoy.

Dave
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post #12 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 08:09 PM
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Riding is “my time”. No radio, no cell phone, just me and my Versys. I find riding a great distress.



Dave[/QUOTE]

This , I agree 100%.
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post #13 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 08:29 PM
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drive carefully and dont run in the city,i am married 20 years and my wife is always on the versys with me. i also have a kid 18 years old
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post #14 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-13-2019, 09:59 PM
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I quite riding when my first child was born mainly due to never having the time to ride, and not really wanting a motorcycle payment at the time. Once they got a little older, I started riding again. Before children the only protective gear I wore was a helmet. Now I'm ATGATT (helmet, armored jacket and pants (mesh in summer), boots, and gloves) every single ride.
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I don't care what you ride, just ride.
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post #15 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 12:29 AM
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Yes, I understand.
My wife and I travelled a lot on the bike. After we had our daughter I used the bike only for work commuting.
Ride safely, avoid dangerous situations.
A baby changes your life. You will teach him/her, you will protect him/her, you will be his/her rock.
You have a big responsibility. You will always think "what they will do without me?"
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Nobody thinks that something is so easy like who is totally unable to do it.

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post #16 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 06:18 AM
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No, it's not a dangerous hobby (but YOU may be making it dangerous). It's only a more vulnerable vehicle if accident occurs. But not more dangerous.

It's your life, your happiness, your choices, not hers. If you ever compromise something as big and important as your passions, she will have mentally broken you for the rest of your life (even after she's gone). I would rather die than be submitted to a woman no matter how much I love her. Standing up for yourself is probably one of the sexy things she fell for without knowing it. A woman not understanding that, is not worth being mine.

Go off road. It makes shorter days (not as far, more exhausting) and it's away from cars. Lots of ADVersys'ers out there. And she can come (atv perhaps, if not bike), and it's a possible family activity later. See, she has no understanding of why it is important to you. It is far easier if she can feel it, not just be told.
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post #17 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 06:57 AM
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I think it comes down to perceived vs actual risk.

It's not easy to judge the real risk of you, riding your motorcycle, getting into an accident. Fly-Sig put it right by saying "Statistics do not apply to the individual specifically". However, we can get some insight through statistics. And those can be surprising - for example, while a person is statistically 30x more likely to be involved in a motorcycling accident than a car accident, they're also over 23x more likely when on a bicycle. Even walking gets you in an accident 8x more often than driving a car. At least on a motorcycle you have protective gear.

I've read somewhere, that horseback riding and skiing are both more risky (per time of activity) than motorcycling, but can't find references now.

There are loads of dangerous activities we just don't consider such. Would anyone forbid a dad to go skiing or ride a bicycle?

We, as humans, are pretty bad at judging risks or probabilities. We're actually judging the cognitive ease, or availability, of imagery correlated with the subject. Are bikes dangerous? I can easily bring up memories of seeing horrible bike accidents, so yes, they must happen often! But horrible accidents are easy to recollect due to being so striking. Just like after 9/11 we've collectively thought terrorism is a real risk because the imagery was fresh and graphic, while more people die in car accidents literally every month. It's estimated that more people died in the following months by electing to travel by cars rather than airplanes due to the perceived hijacking risk, than in the terrorist attack itself. Kahneman's Thinking, Fast and Slow is a great book that shows just how crap we are at perceiving probabilities. Don't let motorcycling become a boogeyman in your wife's eyes. At the same time, do acknowledge the real risks and have a plan to manage them.

And there's a second facet to this issue - what will your family lose by forcing you out of your hobby? Maybe a grumpy dad, with his outlet taken away, harboring that bit of resentment over what he had to sacrifice? There are different folks, a baby always changes a relationship, but statistics show it's as often for worse as is for the better. It's crucial for all involved (including the child!) that boundaries remain respected and that both you and your wife still have a life outside of parenthood. Your mental health is paramount, this has been brought up by psychologists for years.

One last thing - if you go for a compromise and still ride, but ride less, remember that by riding less frequently your skills deteriorate. Probably the worst thing you could to, risk-wise, would be to make a deal that you'll only do "that one motorcycle trip a year with the boys". You have to stay sharp. If you're riding less frequently, make sure to offset it by taking advanced riding classes or something.
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post #18 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 01:37 PM
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Your wife is going through something where the hormones are flowing and it works a number on her. Not to mention the post partum depression. She may be asking for something that she really won’t care about a few months after the baby is born.

Keep in mind this could become a real issue. A real real big big issue.

You know her better than I do and need to answer the question, is she controlling or bossy? How far are you willing to go? A previous post mentions something about breaking you and there’s merit in that concern.

I bought an SV650 last year and this year my wife urged me to buy another bike that would be better for trips. I just bought the Versys 650. She told me I should get the H2 SX SE if I wanted it because she understands we’ve worked hard all of our lives and deserve our luxuries. My concern is she has a life insurance policy on me that I don’t know about. H2 ?!?
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Last edited by tg16; 06-14-2019 at 01:41 PM.
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post #19 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 03:10 PM
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Be a man. Your child will need the example.

Unmitigated risk aversion is the new Puritanism; complete with witch hunts, funny outfits, and humorless preachers thundering doom. The name of the Deity is changed to Safety; the name of Satan is changed to Lawyer; but the object is the same: to suck the life out of life and tell you how to live it.

Unmitigated risk aversion is the new Puritanism; complete with witch hunts funny outfits and humorless preachers thundering doom. The Deity is Safety; Satan is a Lawyer; but the object is the same: to suck the life out of life and tell you how to live it.
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post #20 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 04:02 PM
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Then there's always....... You don't want me to have the bike. Well I didn't want you to have a kid....So I guess we're even....

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