Wife is pregnant, pressing me to sell the Versys. - Page 2 - Kawasaki Versys Forum
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post #21 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 08:36 PM
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33 years ago we went to our birthing classes on a KZ 550. Bike and family mixture are a personal thing. I was without a bike for about 10 years but that had more to due with a job move and money to raise the kids. Now we have 4 bikes and our son has 1. I still do not get to ride solo very often.
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post #22 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 09:07 PM
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A wise man once told me. Let your conscience be your guide. Your wife has every right to ask you to consider stepping away from this hobby. But the decision is ultimately yours. There is nothing wrong with her asking otherwise. She just wants you around for both her and child. That's just a natural survival instinct kicking in her brain. I also stepped away for about 10 years. Not because my wife asked me or demanded. Just my gut or intuition telling me to do so. Good luck, and let your conscience be your guide.
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post #23 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 07:48 AM
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I made sure to marry a girl who grew up around bikes and doesn’t see the danger involved.

Depending where you live, promise her you will only ride in low risk areas instead of commuting or riding around shopping districts.

I know guys who have been riding 50 or more years and 100s of thousand miles without injury.

I haven’t been hit by a car since 1987. Soft tissue injury to my foot.
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post #24 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 08:33 AM
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Vaulter, I have been married for 39 years. What I am about to say is definitely not popular thinking and would be considered mean spirited to some.
I do understand where your wife is coming from but I also understand that women, in general, are controlling and manipulative. But, man, do we love them.
If you do not want to get rid of your bike I recommend you stand your ground and keep it.
I recommend “compromises” such as reducing your riding time, going ATGATT, not taking risks and letting her know that you are not.
Her asking or demanding that you give up something you love is selfish, yet maternal.
Ask her if she is trying to set it up so that you have resentment toward her and / or your child because, my good man, that IS what may happen.
We are humans. Hence “human nature”.
One compromise may be to step down to a smaller bike or like one person mentioned get a dirt bike. (sorry, I am on my phone and this site won’t allow me to see prior comments in posting mode so I can’t give credit where due as I post)
There is a word that men need to learn when it comes to women. That word is “No”. That word comes with consequences but it also comes with empowerment.
Ultimately it is your choice, not hers, not mine, not anyone else here. It’s your “choice”.

I hope you and your wife have a healthy happy baby. 😊
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post #25 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 08:07 PM
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This is a can of worms. I mentioned it to my wife, and she cannot understand the relationship between the motorbike and the baby. Her advice is that if your wife smokes or drinks, she should quit; that will impact the baby's health. The motorbike; not so much. I love my wife. Good luck!

I have become comfortably numb.....

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Last edited by onewizard; 06-15-2019 at 09:37 PM. Reason: My wife would question me posting this on the forum in the first place, however some very good advice.
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post #26 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 06:00 AM
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list it for sale WAY over its value. tell her no one is biting on a used versys.

as long as my wife has known me ive had bikes. we had a minor crash riding 2 up dating in our teens. ( ive had 2 more get-offs riding solo, neither serious.)

when our daughter was born, i sold my bike to a friend and bought a camcorder. remember those? it was the 80's man... she didnt ask me to sell, he stopped by one day and asked if i wanted to sell

i didnt ride again until she was in JR high.

my son rode for a few years also. he's taking a break from it for now.
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Last edited by salnap; 06-16-2019 at 06:23 AM.
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post #27 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 01:32 PM
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Some 29 years ago I was riding my RZ350 over to my then girlfriends house, hit a big bump in the road, got into a tank slapper (huge uncontrolled oscillation of the front wheel) where the bike decided to spit me off via a high side. Fortunately there was no other traffic and I was wearing all my safety gear and walked away with minor injuries (did split the outer case my helmet though). Bike was totaled. Nine months later we were married and a couple of months after that kid #1 came along. Motorcycles were my life until then. Was never without a bike since the age of 15, got married at 29.

The early years of our marriage were a whirlwind, first house, kid #2 and so on. Was also flat out broke. Worked two jobs just to keep above water. Literally didnít have time for anything else. As the years went on (and they sure do go by fast!) things settled down (a bit), caught up on our finances and so on. About 12 years later wifey bought me a beat up old Honda CB550 (cost almost nothing) which relit the motorcycle bug ..

In my experience, as much as I loved motorcycles, it was family first. 100% of my time was dedicated to taking care of work, home, kids and so on. Even if I had a motorcycle, there would have been no time or money to ride or maintain it. The point is donít underestimate how dramatic of a change having a family is, and the demands that will be placed on you. Having a family is also one of lifeís greatest blessings! Again, for me, setting aside the bike until later was the right thing to do.

I wish you and your growing family all the very best!
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post #28 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 08:09 AM
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Seems that both salnap and HelloFrom2012Versys650 came to their respective decisions on their own. That's important.

If you feel that you should stop riding (or won't be able to afford, or won't have time, or your priorities have changed too much etc.), by all means do so. Don't feel obligated to keep riding just because you've been doing it for years. On the other hand, if you feel you can ride and raise a child at the same time, I think it's healthier to continue riding. Having a hobby is proven to be great for your mental health, and I'd argue you can't be a good father if you're not a happy father.

The wife's concern is understandable, this is a risky and expensive hobby. But life is all about managing risks and expenses, not about avoiding them. If she's a reasonable person, I believe this comes down to discussing your strategy of staying safe. Various good arguments were suggested here, including a life insurance, ATGATTing, limiting riding on busy roads etc. But in the end, keep in mind that it's not unreasonable to be a motorcycle-riding dad. There's nothing wrong about it, as long as you're smart about it.

I don't have a family, my girlfriend is fine with me riding, but I want to stay alive for my own sake so this year I've got myself an airbag vest (in addition to all other gear). I'm also doing multiple advanced riding courses and track days each year. IMO money spent on gear and training is not lost, it's invested.

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post #29 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 08:57 AM
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The wife's concern is understandable, this is a risky and expensive hobby.
For me, motorcycling was neither expensive or a hobby until the we became empty nesters.

We had one car and one motorcycle. The motorcycle was my transportation year round. No insurance required on a motorcycle in those days and a reliable motorcycle could be had for a fraction the cost of a reliable car.

For me it would come down to where I lived, what the financial situation is, and how good my wife is in the bedroom whether I would be willing to put away riding.

Now, when the kids are a little older and need more Dad time, then the OP might get too busy to ride recreationally.

Also, contrary to Pat Riot's post, sometimes our wives know us better than we know ourselves. So you really have to sit down and have a conversation with her and figure out the root of the request. Is it just fear, or is it based on her knowledge of the risky riding behavior of the OP, or what? Only through open communication can they figure out what is best for them.
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post #30 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 09:05 AM
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Took my son to his first Daytona 200 when he was 4 months old. Use to bring the family to the race track back in the 90's when we were club racing. Crashed a couple of times broke some bones did not get to much sympathy from the wife . But not once did she asked me to give up motorcycles. Once the in-laws started in on how dangerous motorcycle's are. I told them I had bikes before your daughter and I will have them after. They never mentioned it again.
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post #31 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 11:23 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks everyone for the input. I am considering to get a life insurance and keep riding, but riding in a different fashion. No more filtering and light right hand on the throttle, will probably narrow riding down to 3-4 moths a year (I used to ride all year round in NY).
To people that argue that riding motorcycle is not as dangerous and that it depends on the rider how dangerous his/her riding is, you can't control other people. I've seen people confuse gas/brake pedals and crush into the car in front of them, ive seen people start feeling sick (heart attack) and crash into a tree, and many other scenarios where you don't expect to see an accident but it does happen. I do not doubt my riding skills an experience, ive been riding for almost 20 years.. but i can't read and predict other people's minds and that is my biggest fear.

As far as the financial aspect of it, I don't spend much money on the bike. It's paid off and the insurance is $70 a year, gas is negligible, i service it myself. If anything I save money by owning the bike because every time i ride i dont drive
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post #32 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 06:43 AM
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Thanks everyone for the input. I am considering to get a life insurance and keep riding, but riding in a different fashion. No more filtering and light right hand on the throttle, will probably narrow riding down to 3-4 moths a year (I used to ride all year round in NY).
To people that argue that riding motorcycle is not as dangerous and that it depends on the rider how dangerous his/her riding is, you can't control other people. I've seen people confuse gas/brake pedals and crush into the car in front of them, ive seen people start feeling sick (heart attack) and crash into a tree, and many other scenarios where you don't expect to see an accident but it does happen. I do not doubt my riding skills an experience, ive been riding for almost 20 years.. but i can't read and predict other people's minds and that is my biggest fear.

As far as the financial aspect of it, I don't spend much money on the bike. It's paid off and the insurance is $70 a year, gas is negligible, i service it myself. If anything I save money by owning the bike because every time i ride i dont drive
Be safe and wish you both all the best.
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post #33 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 11:11 AM Thread Starter
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I told them I had bikes before your daughter and I will have them after. They never mentioned it again.
lol great answer to the in-laws
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post #34 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 11:22 AM
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I didn't start riding until after my wife was pregnant. It gets me out of the house and let's me relax.
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post #35 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 12:47 PM
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I didn't start riding until after my wife was pregnant. It gets me out of the house and let's me relax.

If she complains you can say, "Would you rather I go to my girlfriend's or the adult club?"
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post #36 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 07:17 PM
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Wow! Looks like you are in the midst of a quandary. Don’t worry, you’ll get over her. You’ll find another wife!

I’ve been with mine for more than 20 years. She was apprehensive at first but loves riding when we do. I explained to her that most accidents happen after sunset, alcohol is involved, riding too fast straight and into corners, or in intersections, on state highways, and on bikes over 1400cc. I don’t worry about any of any of those. I wear proper gear and focus on not getting into those situations. That was good enough.

Your mileage with your wife may vary.

Good luck and congratulations on fatherhood. My daughters are an architect and a neurosurgeon. Fatherhood ain’t cheap, but nothing else compares - not even riding a bike.
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post #37 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 11:32 PM
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Wow! Looks like you are in the midst of a quandary. Donít worry, youíll get over her. Youíll find another wife!

Iíve been with mine for more than 20 years. She was apprehensive at first but loves riding when we do. I explained to her that most accidents happen after sunset, alcohol is involved, riding too fast straight and into corners, or in intersections, on state highways, and on bikes over 1400cc. I donít worry about any of any of those. I wear proper gear and focus on not getting into those situations. That was good enough.

Your mileage with your wife may vary.

Good luck and congratulations on fatherhood. My daughters are an architect and a neurosurgeon. Fatherhood ainít cheap, but nothing else compares - not even riding a bike.
well said Sir, fatherhood ain't cheap. educating my two daughter overseas has cost me over 1.5M Malaysian dollars-imagine how many versys i could have bought
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post #38 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 05:16 AM
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... I explained to her that most accidents happen after sunset, alcohol is involved, riding too fast straight and into corners, or in intersections, on state highways, and on bikes over 1400cc. ...
You mean you lied to her? Car turning left in your face is the main one and has nothing to do with your intentions.
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post #39 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 05:39 AM
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You mean you lied to her? Car turning left in your face is the main one and has nothing to do with your intentions.
Nope - at least not about riding. What I meant by intersections. That includes anytime where another driver can turn left in front of me on any road. I always flash my led high beams on and off in all intersections and slow down. I trust NO one and have almost 300,000 miles under me to show for it. I ride for work. I have to be more aware and safer.
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post #40 of 51 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 08:34 AM
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dddd,

But that doesnít mean Iím infallible. Iíve had many close calls that had little to do with statistical probabilities. Those are the ones that will get you. I just keep lots of distance and my eyes open. I recently saw that almost 75% of all road rage accidents involve a firearm. Poor roads are also a concern. Thatís the stuff that terrifies me. That and distracted drivers. The only protection there is awareness, lots of distance, high visibility (we always use hi-viz DryBags), and an escape route. So far itís worked for me, but Iím sure luck has been a part of it all too. I do ride much differently than I drive, but driving is less fun too today. So many idiots out there - and Kawasaki still builds black-colored bikes and riders wear black gear. A perfect combination for what wives (and husbands) fear most.
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